A New Day, A New Year, A Perfect Word

Note:  I wrote this post a week ago but for some reason didn't publish it.  Since then I've had a small revelation and am adding to the bottom of the post a bit of an update!  

Well friends, another year has gone, I'm back in Seoul after spending the holidays in Oregon with my family, and tomorrow I will be hit with the full fury of school/work as I dive into a five period teaching day.  Thankfully I will be teaching in my pajamas as tomorrow is the first of five spirit days leading up to Homecoming--just one more thing to love about teaching high school.  As you can imagine, I've had quite a lot of time over the last few days to think about resolutions.  A twelve hour plus plane ride can do that to you…so can jet lag that awakens you in the wee hours of the morning.  I've pondered the habits I'd like to be rid of, the improvements I'd like to make, goals I've had brewing in the back of my mind, and even some I've put down on paper (like looking for that European job in 2015).  In fact, I've done so much thinking about the future recently that I've hardly been present in the present.  I have even gotten to the point that I'm thinking so much about this time next year when I "might" be preparing to look for that European job that I'm terrified about it and ready to call the whole thing off and just hide beneath the covers.  This is when I know that I've let things get a bit out of control here.  I think I've just been so focused on the hurts of the past, and trying desperately to run from them, that I'm ready to bail out on the wonderful things that are happening in the here and now.  So, what does all of this mean and how does it relate to the New Year?  

This New Year I have decided to relinquish control of what is going to happen next year. The planner in me is having a very hard time with this because as most of you know, I am quite good at setting goals and seeing them through.  I am great at making plans, planning vacations, arranging things just so…but it's time to let go and let God take things over for awhile because truthfully, I am exhausted by all of this planning and worrying and I'm ready to just see what happens.  I know this isn't the news many of you were hoping for--at this time next year I may not be getting the European dream job…or I may!  Who knows!  Here's what I do know right now:  At this time last year, I was struggling and unhappy and things just went downhill from there.  I was not a nice person to be around.  I know my colleagues felt it and I'm sure my students did too.  I was angry and depressed, disappointed and confused, and I was ready to leave this place.  Things have improved monumentally and I'm in a much better emotional state today.  I've been getting to know people better through my bible study, neighbors, and just by putting myself out there a bit more in various ways.  I actually have a community here and I am still challenged to do/learn/try new things.  I have my own space that I love and that represents me.  

This month I've decided to listen for a word that will represent my year.  I've downloaded Debbie Macomber's book "One Perfect Word" and will be praying about what that word might be.  Once it has been revealed to me, I'm going to keep a scrapbook/journal that documents how God uses this word to direct me this year.  I'm interested to see how it goes.  I am also making a pledge to be nice to my body and take better care of myself.  I know that I can't do everything and that my habits aren't always the best when it comes to eating and sleeping, so I'm going to work on those and see if my body responds.  Other than that, I've got Family, Friends, and Travel on my list:).  I hope and pray that 2014 will be a wonderful year full of possibility.

Since I wrote this post a week ago, I've had a really good week.  I've been tired, but positive.  I have truly enjoyed seeing my students and colleagues again.  It has been good to be back in this place and getting back to a routine.  I've also finished the book I began--"One Perfect Word".  It was such a lovely read that I finished it in just three days and I'd love to pick it up and read it again.  There's something about the idea of selecting a word for the year that inspires me.  I haven't written out my goals for this year yet--those are still marinating in my mind and heart, but I think I have indeed settled on a word and it has been inspired by God.  I think He actually placed this word on my heart quite some time ago and perhaps this will help me make the complicated decision about what do to one year from now.  

My word for this year is going to be JOY.  After struggling through a troublesome, challenging, depressing year I felt completely devoid of joy. In fact, I actually have told many people that I've lost the joy in teaching.  This year is my year to delve deeper into the meaning of Joy, and to seek the Lord's leading on where my Joy comes from.  I'll be writing more about my journey this year on my blog and trying to incorporate my love for photography and paper crafts into my journaling.  Sometime this week I'm going to make a trip to the bookstore to pick up my journal for the year--it seems like a special, leather-bound journal is in order, along with my wire bound scrapbook.  As a new semester begins for my students at the start of next week, I hope to pen my goals for the new year as well.  My snazzy journal should be a great place to house them.  SMART goals for 2014…hmmm.  And so the journey of another new year begins with the study of JOY!  If you are reading this and feel so inclined to join in the study of a Perfect Word, what would your word be?