A Snowy Iris...A Birthday Remembrance

I keep a permanent birthday calendar on the tack board next to my monthly calendar in my office.  Each evening when I sit down at my computer desk to work or check e-mail I glance up at the calendar to see what important dates are approaching and tonight I was reminded that today, February 5th, would have been my grandma's 79th birthday.  To the right of my computer sits the last photo taken of the two of us before grandma died in 2001.  I wish I were still able to call her to wish her a Happy Birthday, to tell her about my upcoming travel plans, to talk about life, and to make plans for the next time we would see each other.  Growing up, my grandma was one of my biggest supporters and I so admired her generous heart and caring spirit.  Because of all of the time we spent together, she passed a great deal of her love and wisdom--and perhaps some of the anxiety and pain that came from her silent struggles--on to me.  I often imagine if my grandma were still alive we would be fine travel companions, ready to embark on a new journey at the drop of a hat!  Oh the fun we'd have!  Grandma spent years tracking her family's history through Germany and Denmark--what I wouldn't give to have her beside me when I someday visit those countries and walk through the cities that are the roots of my existence.  To say that I miss her terribly is an understatement.  I wonder if she knows?  Can she see me?  Is she proud of who I've become?  I hope so.  

It has been almost 12 years since June 29th, 2001 when I said good-bye to my grandma, but I'll continue to remember her on February 5th, the day of her birth...and every other day, as part of her will always live on in me.  Tonight as I walked home from work, snowflakes were falling gently from the sky and for some reason I imagined my grandma's favorite flower, an iris, peeking through the snow and bursting it's beautiful purple petals open, perhaps as a reminder amidst this gray winter day that spring is coming.  So until then, I will rest in the peace and comfort of knowing that I was loved by my amazing grandma and hold on to the hope that we will meet again.  Happy Birthday Grandma!  I love and miss you.