Fight or Flight...

It feels like I haven't sat down to write in awhile, so I'll continue procrastinating on the planning of tomorrow's lessons by blogging about the happenings in Seoul over the last two weeks.  I have finally reached the settling in point where I feel less like a tourist and more like a resident in this city.  Although much of the massive city is still unknown to me, I have been less inclined to go out exploring during my evening and weekend time and more inclined to enjoy down time.


With this notion of "down time" fresh in mind, I was really looking forward to the four day weekend that came with Thanksgiving (one of the many blessings about working at an international school--we get to celebrate American and Korean holidays).  I had planned nothing other than rest and relaxation for the long weekend and that's exactly what I did--I didn't even eat turkey!  I did, however, thoroughly enjoy sleeping in, getting a much needed haircut, shopping for clothes, having my first massage (who knew you could store so much tension in your shoulders?, getting a manicure and pedicure, watching movies, and reading.  Simple pleasures....ahhhhh!  


On a more serious note, literally the day before Thanksgiving we got word that North Korea had shelled a South Korean island.  The news reports called this attack one of the worst since the armistice treaty halting the Korean War was signed.  Amazingly enough, I didn't feel the sense of panic or fear that I first expected.  Instead, I experienced a deep sense of sadness--the kind that makes you shake your head and wonder if Kim Jong Il has even a shred of humanity in him.  Didn't we just go through this in March with the sinking of the South Korean ship?!  That incident definitely caused a bit of concern, but it was easy to distance myself from the real implications since I was still living half a world away.  


Now, I am personally invested in this place and the people here.  I don't want to be forced to leave my students and colleagues.  I don't want to leave this city that is becoming my new home.  Mostly, I don't want to imagine the extent of human suffering that occurs when a nation is at war.  In the stress of the situation, the "What If's" have started to come to the surface..."What if North Korea follows through with their threats of increased violence?"..."What if the two countries go to war?"..."What if I can't get out of here if things get bad?"...and the worst of all, "What if North Korea drops a nuclear bomb on Seoul?"  After visiting Hiroshima this fall and seeing the effects of nuclear weapons up close, I cannot think of anything worse.  


Presently we (the teachers) all chatter about the rumblings between the two countries in the staff room and talk with students whose parents work for the embassy or are in the military with the hope of setting our minds at ease.  We rationalize our own thinking by commenting on how stupid North Korea would have to be to do anything, we discuss the imminent demise of North Korea should they attack--and then we wake up and realize that nothing happening in North Korea is rational and the cycle is set in motion again.  For the record, if I happen to witness an atomic bomb heading my direction I will follow the urging of my brother to run for the center so I can ensure immediate vaporization rather than risk the possibility of a tortured survival laced with the after-effects of radiation.  This is one of those instances where I am certain I would be ready to meet my maker!


At this point I have seen only a few students and their families decide to abandon ship, so to speak, but the rest of us will remain and carry on.  All we can really do now is pray that diplomacy, sense, and goodness prevail.  I hope it will.