Leave of Absence

Today I received an email from my assistant principal about my impending leave of absence and the necessity of filing the paperwork soon. With budget cuts and declining enrollment, my vacant position could be another teacher's salvation. Though I have had the forms printed for nearly two weeks, the reality of this situation began to set in today-I am leaving my stable teaching position and gambling that in two years it will be there waiting for me. In my head I can rationalize that I know this is God's plan for me, that He is in control, that I may not even want to return to Spokane in two years...but it is still incredibly scary to submit that form. At this point I think I have been exposed to enough psychoanalysis to know I am probably in denial that there will be someone else teaching in "my classroom" next year, working with "my students", and becoming a part of the science department team, which after four years feels a little like family. I assume that if I return to Ferris High School, it will be untouched by the time that has passed, the people entirely unchanged, and I will fit right back into the puzzle. Okay, I am definitely in denial. Perhaps by blogging about these feelings I can embrace them as real and start the acceptance phase. Yes, this means I will fill out the leave of absence form, send it in, and pray for the best...next week.